I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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