I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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