Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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