And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.