Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
