Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
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School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.