Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra