Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Randomize
