If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Boobs are out for the taking
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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