We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
