My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize