I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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