The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
