The best revenge is premature balding
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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