then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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