He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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