yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He passed out mid-signature
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I forget how to act sober
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
