I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we have pet lesbian snakes
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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