My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
