Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i think my cat just said my name.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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