Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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