me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it was like his penis was on wheels.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
