Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
