So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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