The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
