RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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