There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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