For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
