i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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