Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
