just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
