Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
