He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
