Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize