first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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