I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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