There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
