So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Randomize
