someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I am available for nakedness
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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