ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
