I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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