Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize