oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
