Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
