just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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