I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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