Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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