I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
