the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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