I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
