4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
