That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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