Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
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his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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