I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
