Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
