Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize