Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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