All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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