his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
