fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
