I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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