He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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