I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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