If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
