She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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