One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
