So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Drake has all the answers
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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