Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Still dying that you shit outside
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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