You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
